Big Thanks To The Beta Readers: Rewrites Start Tomorrow

First I want to thank the beta-readers for taking the time and reading our story. And a big thank you for the feedback. My co-writer J.D. and I went over them all the last few nights and have mapped out and are outlining the changes we are going to make. We knew what some of it was going to be but wanted to hear the reactions from the readers.
One of the changes is going to be more scenes and chapters involving the Olympians. They were a big hit with the readers and every beta reader wants to read more with them involved. So we heard you and we are going to oblige your requests.
We are also going to change the prologue and may just start with a chapter and bring the story from there, we are going to write both beginnings that we discussed and see which one fits our particular story.
We also know some didn't like two of the characters and we are rewriting their profiles and will adjust their scenes according to their new profile.
As far as making it longer, it will undoubtedly be longer, but I think it will still stay a novella, just a longer then usual one. With these changes, it will bring automatic changes to book two which has already been started. We still will have chapter one of book two at the end of book one as a teaser.
As far as a time frame, we are still looking at the dates we had discussed earlier. We knew we wold be doing rewrites so this hasn't changed the time frame at all.
Once again thank you for those that were beta readers, and thank you to those that have been reading my blog.

Pilgrimage of Angels is with the beta readers

I haven't written a blog post in a little while, and I really need to get better at this, but a lot has been going on and decided to fill everyone in.
My co-writer and editor J.D. Rice, you should check out his blog at
http://unscriptednarration.wordpress.com/
he writes some great flash fiction besides his own stores, is receiving the feedback from our beta group for the first of hopefully many stories to follow the "Of Angles and Olympians" series. As many of you know the first book is called "Pilgrimage of Angels".
Well anyway JD is getting the feedback and we will be going over the suggestions that are made and see what we agree with and what we like and incorporate or change what we feel will make it a better story and more interesting for you, the reader, to enjoy it more.  This is going to be a big year for me as far as writing goes, and I know it is also going to be for JD. I will, after talking it over with JD, probably post the cover art in the next few weeks, I came up with the idea and format for it and JD has been kind enough to let me run with it, so in closing thanks to the beta readers, and to my buddy JD, and  a special thank you to everyone that reads this.

5 Men who helped shape me and will be in my next book as featured characters

I have sat here for the last hour or maybe even longer thinking on how to start this and how it would be framed and so on, but for some reason the words didn’t seem to jump onto the screen themselves. I have added 5 men that have made a significant contribution to my life and how I turned out as characters in a science Fiction book I am almost done writing.

This is going to be a serious and for me an emotional post, I am going to talk about a few men in my life as I was growing up that helped shape me to be who I am and taught me what a man was, and I mean what a real man is, a father, husband, and a man who is taken serious but doesn’t bully people to do what he wants. A man who understands when to be strong and when to have mercy, when to have patience, when there is no patience left, and when to just sit there and be quit because someone just needs you to be next to them. These men mean, and some meant, a lot to me, three have passed away. These five men are featured characters in a book I have been trying to write for about 6 years now, and with the passing of my Uncle Ronnie this past year, yes he is one of the five, I am vowing to all that read this that I am going to finish this book this year, hopefully by the end of summer.

First and foremost is my Dad:

Carmine Henry Sardella: A guy couldn’t ask for a better father, I have tried and hopefully succeeded in being half the man he is. I never feared my father, I did what he asked, well most of the time, there were a few years I wont mention here in college, not because I feared what would happen if I didn’t, but because I respected him so much I wouldn’t dream of not listening to him, I always knew no matter what I did wrong, he may punish me, but he would always listen and help me through whatever it was I did wrong, even when I was a dumb 19 year old who deserved punishment from the courts, my Dad stood by my side and fought harder for me then I had fought for myself. As a young child in the early 70’s I remember watching the tv and they would talk about the Vietnam war a lot, as an 8 year old it can be horrifying to see what used to be broadcast about the war, nothing like today, back then you watched all the coffins coming off the planes. It was quit scary. And back then it was towards the end of the war and on the news they talked about the draft all the time and I remember asking my father if I would be drafted and have to go fight in Vietnam. And he kneeled down to look me in the eye and he said to me “sometimes men are needed to defend our country, and I hope you never do” then he smiled and said “but if they call you up don’t worry I will join and go with you and beat up the bad guys.” For those of you very young reading this, try to remember this was probably around 1973 and the family dynamics where different then. I grew up in a home where my Dad was affectionate and told you how much he loved you. That wasn’t always the case back then. So when he said that to me I was concerned, because I never knew my dad to have a mean bone in his body and didn’t think him capable of beating up the bad guys. At least not until the day he took me and my little sister Tracey to the Mastic Beach Carnival, it used to be in this field across from the Fire House….. It was dark and it was summertime so it had to be pretty late, for some reason my other three siblings weren’t with us, the other two younger ones probably were just too young to go and my older brother may have been in Breezy point at the time with my aunt and uncle.

So to set the stage for you my sister Tracey when she was a child, liked to wear dresses, white ones to be exact, this was the 70’s little girls didn’t wear pants, and it had rained earlier in the day, the reason I know this is because I remember they had put cardboard all around on the ground so as not to walk in the mud as you were waiting on line for either food or to get on a ride or play a game…… well as we were online, I don’t remember what for, three men probably in their twenties, but I don’t know for sure, came crashing into the line and knocked my sister Tracey to the ground, in the mud, in her white dress with her ribbon in her hair.

I remember being so mad and wishing I was Bruce Lee, he was still alive back then and considered the premier bad ass of the day, cause then I would beat them up. Well no sooner did I think it, my father did it. And I don’t mean he pushed these guys and threatened them…. My dad didn’t say a word, and the three of them never had a chance, my father put all three to the ground in seconds, I remember watching them cry in pain with one guy holding his face and blood all over him. People cleared away from us and gave my dad room and he finished all three guys off, then he picked up my sister and carried her and grabbed my hand, he told me to look at the ground and don’t say anything to anyone. We walked at a fast pace to our car and we drove home, I remember being in a daze I couldn’t believe what I had just seen… I was thinking my Dad could probably beat up Bruce Lee even…. Then he started to talk to me, and this is when I think I moved from being a little boy to starting to understand what it is to grow up to be a man… he said, “I did what had to be done, we look out for our own, and we protect our own no matter what, it isn’t pretty and I know it may seem scary, but as a man you have to fight, there is no way you will be able to grow up without being in a few, it is ugly but it is just how it is. But never forget, just because you can beat someone up doesn’t mean you should.”

I could go on for hours about my Dad and growing up, but I think you get the jist of what I am trying to say.

The rest of the men I will mention are in no particular order just how I ended up writing them. But I will keep it shorter because I don’t want you to not finish because you feel there is too much here.

My Uncle James “Jimmy” Adams is married to my Mom’s sister Jo-ann. I can’t put exactly my finger on it, meaning why I respect him and love him so much, I will say I was scared of him when I was very young, but soon found it to be his banter more then anything, he is just this great guy, another one who you could turn to when the chips are down, and always finds a way to make you do the right thing without having to demand it from you. There is a common theme to all these men and that they all are men of great character. He was a NYPD officer he worked undercover Narcotics I think, for many years. He is a guy anyone would be proud to call his uncle and I have such respect for him and that is the reason he plays a big part in this book.

My Uncle Ronald “Ronny” Durham who passed away just recently, he was married to my Mom’s sister Diane, who is also my Godmother. I really took his death hard, I didn’t talk to anyone about it though but I sobbed on the inside and still feel the pain of it. I loved him dearly, he was a highly decorated Vietnam Veteran, purple heart, silver star, and bronze star, among others he received. I believe he did three tours in total, two in a row and then a year off to recover from wounds and then another year after that. He was probably the funniest man I ever knew, and he was to this day the most patriotic man I ever met, he instilled in my my love of country more then anyone else, it was his influence and guidance that made the very first vote I ever got to cast as an 18 year old, be cast for Ronald Reagan in 1984. I remember calling him up and telling him about it and how proud he was of me. And it is hard for me to not tear up thinking about him now.

My Uncle Eugene Martucci he was my godfather and married to my Dad’s sister Aunt Millie, and if you’re Italian you have an Aunt Millie, never met one who didn’t. Like the rest a man of great character and capable of great feats of kindness…. This country was built by people like him, men who never looked at something and said it couldn’t be done, Uncle Eugene looked at a problem and said, “Let’s see if we can make this right.” And found a way to make it happen, McGyver didn’t have shit on my Uncle, he could take a rubber band and toothpick and fix a car…. I think he may have done that a few times to. And he loved his family, he surrounded himself with them and loved them unconditionally, I think what I learned form him was that anything is possible, the words “can’t do” are opposites and don’t belong with each other. I miss him a lot, and think of him often.

The next man isn’t an Uncle or a cousin or even blood related. He is my Dads best friend Artie Hennessy. Best friends have a way of transcending family, you don’t get to choose who your family is, but you certainly choose who your best friend is. I still can remember walking into their home in Center Moriches, and he would smile and call me over. He would look me up and down and say, ”I think you got taller Raymond, let me see your muscles.” Of which I would make the biggest muscle a young boy could muster to which he would say, “Wow you definitely have big muscles, are you lifting weights or something?” I would say yes, and he would then laugh at me knowing we didn’t have any weights at our house and I was just being a boy. I used to say that to my son while he was growing up, and I say it to my nephews, and now I say it to my grandson who doesn’t even wait for me to ask anymore, he runs up to me and says “Look at my muscles Grandpa, just like Ironman.” And I smile and think of Artie. So if any of his children read this know that it isn’t just your lives he touched, I still remember and he lives on in the gesture he shared with me to the gesture I share with my grandson.

There are other men in my life that have added to it, but these men stand out, they deserve to be remembered. Maybe this book is my attempt to immortalize them in the written word, I don’t want the world to forget them ,because I certainly never will.

New Excerpt: Introduction of the Titans

This is a small introduction of some of the key players on the Titans side, keep in mind that a focus group is reading it and will be giving suggestions for some rewrites, so this may change just a little bit. Comments are greatly appreciated. And if you like what you are reading please follow the blog.

“The newborns have finally come,” a voice said in the darkness, rousing Cronus from his slumber deep beneath the Earth. Traveling on the surface was forbidden, watched too closely by the Father's servants. But here, in the deep caverns of the world, the Titans could sometimes find a reprieve from the unending war, a place where they could rest and sleep and, at times, create beings that weren't to be used solely for the war against heaven. The latter was becoming less and less common.

“What does it trouble me, if the newborns have come?” Cronus asked, sitting up from his bed of crumbled stone. The warmth from the Earth's core had put him in a lethargic mood, masking his usual abruptness.

“It troubles you because it troubles me,” the voice said. “These are the first sentient creatures the Father has created since he created us Titans in eons past. If they have but a fraction of the power we ourselves possess, then they will make formidable opponents, if our children are allowed to teach them the art of war.”

Cronus grunted.

“The Father will never create beings like us again,” he said. “Even the Olympians he believes to be too powerful. He fears them, as he fears us. Fears that one of us will one day overthrow him and claim the heavens and the Earth for our own.”

“Do you forget what happened the day we marched on the throne?” the voice said softly. “Do you forget your own fear at the Father's wrath? Do you not remember how your own son pledged his allegiance to the Father at the mear threat of the Father's wrath? I have not forgotten our failure then, Cronus, and neither should you.”

At these words, Cronus was at last stirred. The stones crumbled beneath him as he hastily rose to his feet.

“We were but children!” he shouted, stretching to his full height and causing the cavern around him to shutter and creak at the power of his voice. “The Olympians call themselves gods, even as they make war against we who created them! We will show them who the true gods really are! We alone were gifted with powers rivaling the Father! We alone shall surpass him!”

“Then what of the newborns, Cronus?” the voice asked, sounding pleased.

“We shall slaughter the lot of them!” Cronus said, and at his words mighty boulders fell from the roof, shaken free by his anger. “We shall prove to the Father that no creation of his can surpass that which we have created to destroy him.”

“Very good,” the voice said. “But you cannot hope to tread those heavenly fields unnoticed by the Father's eye. Only the fell-beasts can slip in and out of that territory unmarked.”

“I have creatures of which the Father knows nothing,” Cronus laughed. “And plans that even you have no conceived. We shall see if the power of the newborns can match my servants in battle. Even if they manage to reach the Father's throne, they will learn to fear us as the Olympians never have.”

“As you wish,” the voice said. “Release your beasts. I have other matters to attend to, father of Zeus.”

For a few moments Cronus stood still in silence. The only sound that he heard was the faint bubbling of the lava flow deep in the heart of the cavern. The mighty Titan clenched his fists twice, then spoke out to the voice again.

“Do not taunt me again, Oceanus,” he said quietly. “King you may be, but I am master of my own life and fate. I will not be goaded or manipulated.”

“Do what you will,” the voice of Oceanus said. “But remember who it was that stood longest in the Father's presence, who matched his strength the most of all the Titans.”

“We were children...” Cronus said, before mustering all his power and disappearing from the cavern in a flash of fire and light.

Excerpt from my forthcoming book

In this excerpt is the first introduction of Zues and it gives you an idea of his mindset at the Angels being born  and how he feels about them. Keep in mind this will be changing, it is just a brief introduction to how the style of the book will be. I hope you enjoy it.

Tears dripped quietly onto polished marble, as the king knelt over the great table where his queen lay in silent sleep. Behind him, row after row of these white tables ran up and down the long hall, each bearing a different sleeper, each sleeper laying in stillness and peace. None stirred, all hardly breathed, and the only sound to be heard in the hall was the slow, steady beating the king's heart. It pounded loudly in his own ears, reminding him of the life his body still held, taunting him. While one hand lay gently on his queen's own, his other remained at his side, balled into a fist, shaking now and again as he stared into his wife's face.

Thunder sounded suddenly from outside the hall, and yet the king, unalarmed, did not move from his place. His voice began to mutter the words of a song, the tune slow and sad. As he sang, the light in the hall around him grew dim, while the body of the queen glowed faintly in response. He brought both his hands to his wife's face, cupping her cheeks and feeling some warmth and redness return to them as he sang. For a moment, his voice grew stronger, louder, but then the redness faded and she grew pale once again, unmoving, cursed to slumber on for years still. The king's voice left him as quickly as it had arisen.

At just that moment, he heard the sound of the door on the opposite end of the hall open and close. He listened as footsteps, soft and quick, came towards to place where he knelt.

“My king,” the newcomer said quietly, unable to completely hide the excitement in her voice.

“Why do you come before me with messages?” the king asked, taking his wife's hand in his own again. “Where is Hermes?”

“That is the message I wish to bring,” the woman said. “We've received word from the Father that the newborns have finally awakened. They are moving, even now, across the old battle plains towards the Father's throne. Hermes has gone out to greet them, arm them, and direct them as best he can.”

“Then these new creatures also appear in the forms of men?” the king asked, still not turning to face the woman behind him. “Are these gods or monsters the Father has brought to fight our war?”

“My scouts report they are neither,” the woman said.

“What then?!” the king asked. “Surely the fell-beasts have waylayed them by now. How do they fare? How do they fight? Do they return to the ether when they die? Do theirs rejoin the Earth? Or do they slumber and fade like so many of our kind have done?! Tell me Artemis, what do your little bugs tell you.”

Finally turning his head, the king looked upon the woman before him. Thin and lithe, garbed in animal skins and leather, armed only with a bow, she was little better than the satyrs who served the Titans. A tiny, woodland thing. And yet she and the nymphs and spirits and fayes which loved her so were indispensable to him. They listened to her, loved her. Even as he looked on her, a tiny glimmer of light hovered next to her ear, humming lightly as it danced and pulsed.

“Yes, the newborns have encountered the fell-beasts,” Artemis said, eyes locked on the king's own. “And they do pass away. Yet my scouts report that they are spirits, nonetheless. The light of the Father is in them.”

“If they die, then they are simply soldiers to be used,” the king said, standing suddenly to his feet. “Tell the nymphs to begin preparing tents and arms for our troops and have my generals ready to march by the time they arrive.”

“My lord,” Artemis said, taking a step forward. “These newborns are dying out in the fields. Should we not send an army out to meet them. Hermes' conjured weapons can only protect them so much against the beasts that roam that region. Surely you wish to protect them. They are the Father's children.”

“They are cattle,” the king said. “And if the Father wishes to protect them, he has the power to do it himself.”

“But he asks~”

“He asks nothing!” the king roared, as thunder crashed outside the great hall again. At the commotion, the faye that danced at Artemis's side suddenly whipped away in fright. “The Father does not bring report to me of these newborn spirits. Instead he sends Hermes, who jumps like a dog at his command, out to greet them. And then you, the hunter, must serve in Hermes's place. Obey my command. Have the tents prepared and gather my generals.”

Artemis eyed her king for a few moments before responding.

“As you command, Lord Zeus,” she finally said, turning to leave. Zeus watched as she walked down the long hall to the doors, passing the slumbering bodies of slain Olympians as she went.

“They weak will die!” Zeus called just as she reached the exit. “The strong will live!”

“Maybe so,” Artemis said back, before slipping out the door and out of sight.

Alone once again, Zeus turned back to table where his wife lay. Despite knowing that she hadn't stirred, the she wouldn't stir again for many ages still, he imagined a frown had formed on her face.

“The Father brings us mortal spirits to fight our war,” he said, resting his hand on hers once again. “Perhaps with their deaths you can awaken to a world without fear of the Titans. Those who survive the war will serve you well. I just pray they will be enough.”

The Angel Greagian

Greagian is without a doubt one of, if not the main character. His interpretation of his birth and what he first see's upon it make up the beginning of the book. His side of the journey that he and the other Angels face is one of the main ones. He is definitely bred to fight, when God created him he did so with one purpose, for a loyal Angel that would always do what was asked of him, and be good at it. And he will need the knowledge  and the fighting ability that he was born with when fighting Hellhounds, Minotaur, and all the other creatures that the Titans have created. In this book Greek Mythology plays a big part, and many of the creatures from that Mythology will be seen in these books. So yes there will be more forthcoming books, this is just the first of hopefully many.

On another note, I am working on interviewing some other Indie Authors as well on my blog and have lined up two so far. So I will keep you updated on that as it unfolds with the dates.

New Release dates

To my dismay, after speaking to J.D. who is helping write the book with me, but is also doing my editing, the book will probably not be released until end of April or beginning of May,and here is why.

First draft will be ready about the 15th of December, then we have some test readers who because of the holidays will probably not here back from until mid January. From there we will have to do some rewrites from the feedback we get. After those have been edited, we then send to a readers group for any final changes from there. When that is complete it then gets copy edited. All in all that is a few months worth of work.

I will still post later on introducing some of the Angels to everyone though.